Anxiety

The key to managing your anxiety is understanding it. This is something we can explore in therapy, as anxiety comes in many forms and is unique to individuals. But there are things you can do to manage your anxiety at home.
 
Regulation

Anxiety is often a sign that we don't feel safe or secure in our lives. It is important to know if this is happening now (ie you are in an abusive relationship) or if it is left over from the past and has been triggered by a recent loss or stress factor. This is very common - we are wired to protect ourselves from future harm and danger - and does not mean you are going mad.
If it is the latter, you can help reassure yourself that you are safe here in the present moment.
You can learn, or re-learn, to self-soothe at any age through repetitive practice and reading. Here are some simple things I recommend you try each day.

1. ​It will pass. If you are anxious or depressed, it can feel like it's going to last forever. Remember you didn't always feel this way and that you will be okay again. You feel this way for a reason that you may need to process and understand. If you experience emotions that make you feel child-like and overwhelmed, you can say to yourself: I am an adult, I am no longer a child. I am [age]. I have survived a lot worse and I can cope with this situation.
2. Don't fight it. Mindfulness experts often compare emotions to clouds. Notice how your feelings change and eventually subside. If you try to fight them, or stop them, you can magnify their intensity. You can be curious about your feelings rather than afraid, but if that is too difficult, distraction is a good short term solution: watch TV, read a book, go for a walk or do some yoga if you have a lot of anxious energy.
3. Mindfulness meditation: studies have shown that just ten minutes practice every day for eight weeks can change your brain. You can find guided meditations online, download phone apps, or on websites such as the NHS or Mind.
4. Take deep breaths: Breathing deep into your belly and out again slowly. It might feel weird or uncomfortable at first, but it gets easier with practice. Start by counting 3 in and 3 out. When that feels comfortable, count 5 in, hold 2, breathe out 7. It’s the breathing out that slows your heart beat. Do this for two minutes.
5. Write: If you feel anxious, write down what you are anxious about. Or write a list of things that make you happy, things you still want to do with your life, and what matters most to you. See Write for more writing exercises.
6. Compassion: Notice when you have critical or judgemental thoughts about yourself. Try and change that to a more compassionate response: imagine for example what you would say to a friend. Being kind to yourself is part of the ability to self-soothe. You can do this through touch, by simply resting your hand on your shoulder.
7. Ask for help: Anxious people often have low self-worth or are ashamed of being needy. Calling someone you trust when you feel down and being able to share how you feel is a natural and important part of human relationships. If you heard your friend hadn’t called you when they were suffering, how would you feel?

The important thing to remember is that your survival system will still operate if you are calm. Being relaxed does not mean being switched off. In fact, it can mean that you are more alert and focused, and better equipped to respond to real danger rather than reacting to everything and feeling so exhausted you can’t think straight.

Resources

​Apps
headspace.com

sam-app.org.uk

calm.com

insighttimer.com

Reading
Wherever you go, there you are: Mindfulness Meditation for Everyday Life - Jon Kabbat-Zinn

Rewire your Anxious Brain – Catherine Pittman

Reasons to Stay Alive – Matt Haig
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First We Make the Beast Beautiful – Sarah Wilson